As Crazy As Bumi
by Kimberly T
Summary: It was a crazy idea, but everyone knew that Bumi was a mad genius and his ideas usually worked. So Aang, Zuko and Katara agreed, and somehow Mai got roped into it…
1. Still Bored

**AS CRAZY AS BUMI**

By Kimberly T.

_Author's Note: This idea has been percolating in my brain for over a year already. I decided to go ahead, write it out and start posting it now, before that Mai-centric comic book I've heard about is published in May 2013 for Free Comic Book Day, just to see how much of my character assessment mirrors what we'll see in the comic. _

_Mai's character was woefully underdeveloped in the series, so fan speculation about her past, her motivations and her future with Zuko have been rampant. To make her a better future Fire Lady/Royal Consort, some fanfic writers have made her politically savvy, excelling at diplomacy and actually enjoying all the schmoozing and networking at parties and political functions that Zuko would be only too glad to delegate to her. That would make her a great life-partner for the Firelord, but we saw nothing in the series to support the idea, other than the fact that her father is a high-level diplomat._ _A father and family that Mai all but begged Azula to take her away from in "Return to Omashu", because she was bored out of her mind._

_In that same episode, when rebels attacked her family Mai instantly sprang into action, even ahead of the family guards. In a later episode, Mai proclaimed "Victory is boring" when, after a long chase, a fight with the Water Tribe siblings was over in mere seconds. From those moments as well as all her fight scenes, I conclude that Mai is actually an Action Girl, someone who lives for excitement; happiest when danger or at least adventure is looming and her adrenaline is pumping. Someone who was unfortunately born into the wrong family, and severely repressed by parents who wanted a pretty china doll to marry off for political advantage, instead of a real daughter. We'll see soon enough if the official comic agrees with my views._

**Chapter 1: Still Bored**

It had been a full year since the last time Mai had been in Omashu, and a lot had changed since then:

Azula had recruited her and Ty Lee for some excitement, and the three of them had ridden across the Earth Kingdom to search for Zuko, as well as hunt for the Avatar.

Zuko had helped Azula kill the Avatar so he could return home from his banishment, and Mai had returned to the Fire Nation with him and Azula.

Only a few months after his return, Zuko had turned on his family and broken up with her, in order to join the Avatar (who wasn't dead after all.)

Crazy King Bumi had taken back his city and kicked Mai's parents out so hard, they ran clear back to the Fire Nation.

Mai herself had turned on Azula to save Zuko, and then Ty Lee had turned on Azula to save Mai; the two of them had spent over a month in jail as a result.

Azula had gone crackers, nearly killing Zuko in the process, and been put in an insane asylum.

Zuko had been crowned Firelord and declared the war over.

Mai had been released from jail, gotten back together with Zuko and been all-but-officially recognized as the future Royal Consort, to her parents' delight.

Ty Lee had left Mai and the Fire Nation behind _again_, this time to join the Kyoshi Warriors.

A lot of other stuff had happened, but those were the important events as far as Mai was concerned.

Yes, there had been a lot of changes, but one thing hadn't changed; the city of Omashu was still boring.

Dull brown everywhere, with splashes of drab green. Delivery chutes with stone bins zipping down them at regular intervals. Peasants going to market or coming back from market or going to work or whatever they did in the course of their miserable daily lives. Government officials scurrying here and there, all thinking they were important people doing important things when most of the time the world would get along just fine without them. Booorrrriiinnng. And Mai was stuck here with absolutely nothing to do except sharpen her weapons, practice her already perfect aim and watch the insanely boring world go by.

For at least the hundredth time she wondered why she'd come here to Omashu in the spring, for what had been optimistically named the First Annual World Peace Summit. She could have stayed back in the Fire Nation, where she at least had the servants well-trained enough to know when she didn't want to be bothered. But Zuko had asked her to come along, so she'd come. Besides, it had gotten her away from her parents, which was always a cause for mild rejoicing.

About a week after the Day of Black Sun, Mai had been home sulking on the couch, trying to get over the way Zuko had abruptly broken up with her and telling herself that things couldn't get much worse, when she'd heard a commotion at the front door… and realized that yes, things could indeed get worse. That's when she'd found out that Bumi had kicked all the Fire Nation, including her parents, out of Omashu, and they'd naturally returned to their home in the Fire Nation capital.

Since coming back to the Fire Nation with Azula and Zuko, Mai had discovered she relished having the family home basically all to herself. No overbearing mother watching her and just waiting for the chance to criticize her for the slightest flaw in her poise; no diplomat father constantly reminding her that everything she did reflected on the family honor (they had even tried to forbid her knife-throwing, until Azula had given it her royal endorsement); no bratty little brother shrieking the place down (how come her parents never shoved _him_ into a closet until he stopped crying?).

There'd been far fewer servants than normal, too; just a few housemaids to do the cleaning and laundry, a cook for the kitchen and a single maidservant for her daily toilette. With so few people around, she'd had so much time to herself, freedom to do so much… a freedom she'd barely started exploring before they'd come back and taken over, and her life had instantly reverted back to the way it had been before Omashu had been conquered and colonized.

She'd wanted to scream at her mother, _I once spent the whole day barefoot! I actually spent half an hour considering a whole new hairstyle! I went on a picnic with Zuko without a chaperone!_ She'd wanted to scream at her father, _I bought food from a street vendor—and ate it with my bare hands instead of chopsticks! I let Zuko bring some of __**his**__ servants into our home and fetch delicacies like fruit tarts with rose petals! _

She'd wanted to scream to them both, _Zuko and I snuggled on that couch, right in front of the servants! And two nights before he ran off to join the Avatar__**, we had sex in my bedroom!**__ It was awkward and painful and messy and nothing like Ty Lee's romantic stories, but I'm not your precious and oh-so-honorable virgin anymore!_

But of course she hadn't said any of that, let alone screamed it. She'd just gone back to being their dutiful daughter, bored stiff and heart-aching and hating every minute of it, until the hawk-message had arrived from her uncle the prison warden, telling her who'd just shown up at the Boiling Rock.

Rebelling against Azula and everyone else to save Zuko had been… such an incredible _rush_, so _freeing_, that she almost wouldn't have minded dying afterwards. It had been the high point of _her entire existence_ up to that day, doing something that no one had expected of her, and doing it to save the life of the only boy she'd ever loved! She'd faced down Azula with her usual monotone, because old habits die hard, but inside she'd been almost gibbering incredulously, _I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!_

Prison, afterwards… that hadn't been interesting at all. She and Ty Lee had shared a cell at the Boiling Rock for only one day before being shipped to other prisons back inside the Fire Nation. Mai's uncle had quietly pulled some strings for her sake, getting Mai herself assigned to a prison with a warden who owed him for some unnamed favor. It must have been a large favor, because Mai's cell had been clean and insect-free, her bed had been reasonably comfortable, and she had never been harassed by other prisoners or the prison guards. Compared to the tiny closet her parents used to lock her into for hours on end when she'd misbehaved as a child, it was almost a paradise. But they'd taken all her blades away, and given her absolutely nothing to do; she'd been _bored out of her mind_, so much that she wouldn't even have minded seeing her family again.

Mai knew her time in prison could have been a lot worse; she hadn't been put through any of the horrible things she'd heard about that routinely happened to female prisoners. She still wondered what had happened to Ty Lee during that month of imprisonment—why had Ty Lee joined the Kyoshi Warriors, becoming one of a group of women who all looked alike, when she'd spent years trying to make herself stand out from her six lookalike sisters? What had _happened_ to her, to make her decide it would be a good idea to become part of another matched set?—but Ty Lee had never talked about it, and finally Mai had decided that what's done is done, and at least they were both out of prison now.

But while her parents had been _**so**_ thrilled to see her on the newly crowned Firelord's arm that they'd forgiven her for all the scandal she'd recently caused the family, that hadn't meant that she was free to do whatever she pleased now. Ohhh, far from it. When she'd just been the girlfriend of the formerly banished prince (who had been welcomed home but not yet officially reinstated as the heir to the throne), life had been easy. But now that she was in the running—in fact, the sole contender—to be the next Royal Consort, she was under close scrutiny practically every moment she was awake… and probably even while she was asleep, too. The future Royal Consort had to be the model of propriety at all times, which meant chaperones had to be present to ensure her reputation was impeccable, and not damaged in any way after her recent (ahem) incident. And with Azula in an insane asylum and Ty Lee gone to Kyoshi Island, Mai couldn't get away with calling them her chaperones anymore.

Walks with Zuko? Chaperoned by her new attendant, Lady Dang. Dinners with Zuko? Chaperoned by her _mother_. The last picnic with Zuko? Chaperoned, and what's worse, her mother had brought _Tom-Tom_ along on the picnic too; that had been such a horrible mood-killer that Zuko hadn't suggested another picnic since then. The visit to Ba Sing Se via airship, to celebrate the reopening of the Jasmine Dragon? Chaperoned by her _father_. They had managed to sneak in some time alone (with some kissing and cuddling) on that trip, because her father had gotten so 'airsick' that he'd stayed in his cabin most of the time. And he'd still been feeling queasy enough to stay in bed during the actual reopening celebration, after Zuko had pointed out that his uncle would obviously be there to prevent any impropriety. But after the party, her father had adjusted to air travel enough to be an active chaperone on the way back, which had put an end to the kissing and cuddling on dates once more.

And what's worse, Mai almost never saw Zuko outside of those carefully scheduled dates. Being the Firelord and steering the country away from war was taking up all his time, nearly every waking moment of his day. There were always documents to review and sign, relief efforts to organize, meetings with nobles and meetings with petitioners and… She was willing to bet that the Avatar and his waterbending girlfriend, who came by the capital frequently on their sky bison to report on what they'd seen and done in the colonies, saw Zuko more than she did.

Things would get better after they were married, right? She'd thought that over and over in the last few months, even though Zuko hadn't actually, officially proposed to her yet. She knew it was nearly inevitable, and after they were married, she wouldn't need a chaperone and an _appointment_ to see her own husband. Things would get better then…

But now she wasn't so sure. The trip by airship to Omashu had taken only two days, and for her chaperone Mai had been accompanied by Lady Dang (her parents had flat-out refused to return to Omashu, after what had happened to them there.) Zuko had brought his secretary, three messenger hawks and a foot-tall stack of documents that needed reviewing and signing before being sent back to the nobles that Zuko had left temporarily in charge while he attended the summit. Mai had hoped to get in some time alone with her boyfriend during the trip, but he'd spent most of it buried under paperwork and when he was with her, Lady Dang was right there watching them like a hawk. For the evening they'd spent in transit, she'd sat and held hands with Zuko in the airship's lounge while some crewmen had played music for them. She'd wished that she could do more to comfort Zuko, who still looked so drawn and exhausted from all the work he'd been doing, and she'd whispered under cover of the singing, "It will be better after we're married."

"Agni, I hope so," Zuko had whispered back tiredly. "I'm _**so**_ looking forward to having help running the country; someone I can trust administering at least a few programs for me. I'm going to go blind from all the reports I've been reading…"

Um. What?

Help running the country. Administering programs. Reading reports for him.

He thought she was going to help with his _paperwork_?!

That definitely wasn't what she'd been thinking. She loved Zuko, but offhand, she couldn't think of anything more dull and boring than governmental paperwork.

Right there in the airship lounge, with Lady Dang and all the crewmen looking at them both, hadn't been the right time to confront him and start straightening out each other's ideas of what their married life would be like. And they hadn't had any time alone for talking since then; the next day Zuko had spent hours doing paperwork again, dealing with everything that he could before arriving in Omashu. The only break he'd allowed himself had been when the Avatar and his Water Tribe friends had shown up and flown alongside the airship, hallooing and gaily calling out for Zuko. Ignoring his crew's anxious stares and gasps, Zuko had leaped out from the gondola onto the sky bison to talk with his friends for a while, before coming back aboard just in time for their arrival in Omashu.

But on her own, Mai had thought over Zuko's words and assumptions, and decided that his plans for what she'd do after they were married were actually reasonable. Depressing, but reasonable. If he needed help from someone he could trust implicitly, well, Mai was really his only choice. His uncle had chosen to stay in Ba Sing Se with his silly little tea shop, and his foreigner friends visited but they were never around long enough to really help him out, and even if they were, they were _foreigners_. No foreigner could ever really be welcome in the Fire Nation; Mai was sure that whatever they did to try to help would be rejected by the nobility, just for that reason.

The thought of spending the rest of her days reviewing endless paperwork—not even the exciting adventure stories she'd sometimes snuck into the palace library to read; instead they'd be trade agreements or crop reports or something equally boring—had Mai contemplating, just for a moment, running away to join Ty Lee on Kyoshi Island. But really, what else would there be to do with her life as the Royal Consort? Even ordering servants around got boring after a while. She could throw parties—in fact, she knew that would be expected of her too—but standing around listening to music played too slow to be at all interesting, and to nobles jockeying for status and royal favor or tossing polite and thinly veiled insults at each other, was hardly much better.

Besides, if she really was able to take care of some of Zuko's daily workload for him, then he'd be able to spend more time with her in the evenings. That would make reading through mind-numbingly boring reports more than worth it.

Once they'd reached Omashu, when they'd disembarked from the airship they'd been greeted by that crazy old king Bumi, wearing the most hideous purple-and-green outfit Mai had ever seen. They'd been shown to their rooms in the palace, gotten settled in, and attended an informal dinner with the king and the Avatar; the official state dinner wouldn't be until tomorrow, when the rest of the delegates from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes arrived.

The dinner had become mildly interesting when that crazy old king had decided to get into a food fight with the Avatar. Everything had been served on ceramic plates, and King Bumi had started using earthbending to fling them in the Avatar's direction; that equally crazy kid had grinned and started using airbending and earthbending to stop them in midair and fling them back. Zuko had just groaned and covered his eyes, just as the waterbender had been doing while her brother had yelped in dismay about how they were wasting good food. Mai had admitted to herself that a food fight was hardly suitable for even an informal dinner… but at least it was a change from the usual boring dinners.

But when a plate full of gravy-soaked dumplings had started veering in her direction, Mai had decided that was enough. She liked the dress she was wearing, and had no desire to see it splattered with gravy. She'd flung a dagger that hit the plate just at the right angle to make it flip up and backwards, sending the gravy spattering in a different direction. Then she'd slowly and carefully lowered her arm when a dozen spears and at least a dozen hovering boulders had all been aimed straight at her by Bumi's guards.

Zuko had immediately stood up with great deliberation and an appropriately fierce glare at the guards, fists smoldering as he'd growled, "She meant no harm to King Bumi or to anyone else at this table. The dagger was aimed exactly at what it struck, the plate that might have hit her; she acted in self-defense."

"Yeah, it's okay, really!" the Avatar had said, also rising to his feet with a placating gesture. "I've seen Mai throw lots of sharp objects, and trust me, if she'd been meaning to hit Bumi she would have!"

And King Bumi hadn't seemed scared or alarmed at all; if anything, he'd seemed delighted by her move. "Oh, really?" he'd inquired with a snaggletoothed grin. "Let's see how good Lady Mai is, then. Think fast!" as he'd flung his hands out, and every single plate had gone flying off the table, most of them in different directions.

Finally, a little excitement! Mai had sprung to her feet already firing, sending out every dagger, shuriken and senbon in her sleeves and wrist launchers, and hit all but two of the plates while they were either still rising in midair or just starting to fall; then she'd spun and kicked out to send two blades from her left ankle launcher flying, and split the last two plates before they hit the ground.

Of course, by the time the last few broken plates had hit the ground, everyone at the table had been splattered with the food that had been on those plates, Mai included. But she'd found she really didn't mind that much after all; the mess had been worth it.

But that had been yesterday, and there hadn't been any excitement at all since then. Now Mai was bored, bored, _bored _again, staring out a window at the brown and green cityscape while wishing that the first day of the First Annual World Peace Summit was over already, so Zuko could come out and spend time with her again. The problem was, the first meeting had officially convened less than an hour ago…

00oo00oo00oo00oo00

"Y-you want me to leave?" There was no mistaking the shock and hurt in Aang's expression as he stared at Bumi, literally his oldest friend, and wondered what he'd just done wrong to make Bumi want to get rid of him.

"That's right. Now go on, shoo, find someplace else to be for a while," Bumi said, flapping those gnarled brown hands at him like he was a pig-chicken crowding too close to the feed bucket. "But you can leave your girlfriend here in your place."

Ordinarily, Aang would have jumped for joy at the chance to leave a meeting as stuffy and boring as this one… at almost any political meeting at all, really. But he had to ask, "But… why? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, yet… but we have a problem with you, Aang. You're far too nice, and particularly far too nice to the Firelord," as Bumi pointed to where Zuko was sitting just a few feet away, looking just as shocked as Aang felt. "_Twice_ since we started this meeting, you've given your support to his ideas for restitution for some of the damage the Fire Nation did during the war."

"Yes, because they're good ideas!"

"As it happens, they _are_ good ideas. But that doesn't change the fact that the Avatar is officially supporting the Firelord!" Bumi looked indignant. "How can the rest of us tear him to ribbons in revenge for what his nation did to ours, if you're right here defending your firebending teacher?"

Chief Arnook, who had been sipping from his teacup as Bumi spoke, did the world's biggest spit-take and sprayed tea all across his table and his closest aide. Every other delegate in the room reacted with shock at Bumi's words as well… a few of them, with also somewhat guilty expressions, as if Bumi had only voiced exactly what they'd been thinking.

Aang gave everyone The Frown; he'd practiced it in a mirror, and it was the closest he could come to the expression Katara used to give him when he'd been slacking off on his waterbending practice. "If that's how most of you feel, then I should definitely stay right here. This is supposed to be a Peace Summit, not a return to war! Revenge is never the right answer!"

Chief Hakoda stood up with dignity and declared, "King Bumi does _not_ speak for all the delegates; certainly not for the Southern Water Tribe. My people were decimated during the war, but I did not come here seeking revenge. I actually took up arms in battle, unlike many of the people in this room," as his gaze coolly swept over them all, "and I know better than most that wreaking vengeance only leads to more deaths on both sides, instead of peace."

Several people looked uncomfortable at the chief's words, a few even giving him covert glares of resentment at the pointed reminder that they had never even come close to a battlefield, letting commoners do their fighting for them, and would have no real response if they were outright accused of cowardice. Zuko stood up and gave a short bow of respect to Hakoda, saying quietly, "Wise words, from a wise ruler of men." Hakoda gave a short bow in return.

Then Zuko turned to Aang and said with resolve, "But King Bumi was right, in that you can't defend me to everyone just because I'm your friend and your firebending teacher. The Avatar is the Balance between the nations; favoring any one of them over the others will upset the balance, when we're still working on restoring it."

"Which is why you should leave, Aang," Bumi put in again. "You have the admirable habit of sticking up for your friends, but that will only get in the way of progress here. Let young Zuko take his lumps for his country; he looks man enough to handle it. But your girlfriend Katara can stay here and be your eyes and ears for all the meetings; she can report to you later on the proceedings, and how well or poorly your fiery friend was treated in your absence."

Katara stood up and nodded acknowledgment of Bumi's words, then turned to Aang and said reassuringly, "It will be all right, Aang. I can speak up on your behalf if they start getting too nasty with Zuko."

One of the Earth Kingdom officials from Ba Sing Se gave a quiet but clearly scornful snort and muttered to his neighbor, "Giving a mere girl the right to represent the Avatar, and speak in an international summit?"

His words weren't quiet enough. Katara flushed and opened her mouth in indignation, but before she could say anything the elder sitting between Chiefs Arnook and Hakoda stood up. Master Pakku gave the official a literally icy glare as he growled, "That 'mere girl' is a waterbending master and warrior in her own right! If you have an issue with my former student, I'll be happy to address it with you in any arena of your choosing. Not that I expect you to actually take me up on that, with your hands that have probably never lifted anything more dangerous than chopsticks to stuff your face with…"

Now it was the official's turn to flush red, but instead of speaking up for himself he shrank back in the face of outright challenge. Bumi said with a dismissive wave, "Oh, don't mind him; he's one of those idiots that keep forgetting that Avatar Kyoshi was a woman."

"And so was Avatar Yangchen, the previous Air Nomad Avatar," Aang felt compelled to add. Still reluctant, but seeing the sense behind Zuko's words, Aang picked up his staff and prepared to leave, saying, "I trust you will listen to Katara, and remember that Zuko is nothing like his father, Firelord Ozai. He turned against Ozai and fought at my side for peace! And if not for his warning of Ozai's plans and his training me in firebending, most of the Earth Kingdom would have been burned to the ground on the day of Sozin's Comet."

"That's something worth reminding everyone of from time to time," Bumi agreed. "Anyway, off you go, Aang. But since I know you'll hang around Omashu anyway to get reports from Lady Katara on how the summit is progressing, I've thought of a task for you, to keep you occupied. Do you think you're up to it?"

Aang paused and gave Bumi a wary look. "You're not going to encase one of my friends in rock candy again, are you?"

"Oh, I never try the same trick twice," Bumi said with a grin. "No, no tricks at all this time; just a task that I've heard others say is impossible. But if anyone can think of a way to do it, I'm sure you can!"

"Well… let's hear it." Aang decided that if nothing else, Bumi's idea for a task would at least keep him from getting bored, waiting around all day for Katara to get out of the summit meeting.

"Lady Mai of the Fire Nation is one of the gloomiest and most perpetually bored people I've seen in all my one hundred and fourteen years. Avatar Aang, your challenge is to make her _laugh out loud_."

Zuko made a noise like he was choking on his own tongue, drawing all eyes in his direction; he blushed a little, but told everyone, "I've known Mai since childhood, and never—_ever_—heard her actually laugh out loud; usually it's an accomplishment just to get her to smile!"

"So what makes her smile?" Aang asked curiously.

"Ah-ah-ah, no cheating by getting tips from her boyfriend," Bumi said, waggling a finger at him. "And don't forget Momo! Just to make your task more challenging, you'll need to keep Momo with you at all times."

That requirement brought a smile to Aang's face. He hadn't been too happy about leaving Momo with Appa instead of bringing him into the summit meeting, but Katara had quietly but firmly insisted. She'd said that Momo's habit of scampering across tables and grabbing at things like people's refreshments and ink brushes would be disruptive and not appreciated by all the adults; evidently the lemur had gotten her into a little trouble with the Earth King's generals back in Ba Sing Se by doing just that. "Okay; I'll do it. Wish me luck, Zuko!"

"Good luck… you're going to need it," Zuko muttered behind him as he turned and almost skipped out of the room, finding himself looking forward to the challenge. What Zuko didn't know was that Air Nomads were famous for having a great sense of humor! He had tons more jokes to tell than just the ones Zuko had already heard! As he left, he heard Zuko say, "Now, on to the issue of Gaipan…"

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The issue with Gaipan, an Earth Kingdom village that had a Fire Nation garrison stationed there, was that it had been nearly wiped off the map by a flood just over a year ago. It had never been a full-fledged colony, just a stop for supply trains moving through on their way to the warfront, though important enough that a garrison had been stationed there. The woods around the village had been filled with rebels that had frequently harassed the supply trains; the garrison had provided armed escort through the worst areas and occasionally captured or killed a few rebels, but had never been able to completely eliminate them. Then the nearby dam had been blown up and the village flooded, and the Earth Kingdom claimed the Fire Nation Army had done it and was responsible for all damages.

Zuko had prepared arguments against the charges, but as it turned out, he didn't have to say a word. Katara had jumped to her feet and denounced the charges, proclaiming loudly that the rebels in the area—led by Jet, of course; that hate-filled idiot was causing trouble for him even after his death—had blown up the dam, determined to flood the valley and kill everyone in it just to get rid of the Fire Nation soldiers. "How can you actually make up those charges with a straight face?" she demanded of the Earth Kingdom bureaucrat who had brought them up. "Everyone knows they're lies, and Jet blew up the dam—it was even in that stupid _play_, 'The Boy in the Iceberg'!"

The bureaucrat glared at her, angry that his attempts to gouge even more money out of the Fire Nation had fallen through and even angrier to be called a liar to his face, the more so because it was true. Then he acquired a nasty smirk on his face, as he said slyly, "So are you saying that the play is entirely truthful? Including how this Jet character claimed to flood the village for _your_ sake? Or perhaps the later scene where you and the Firelord had moments of intimacy in the caverns beneath Ba Sing Se…"

Zuko winced, while Katara flushed scarlet. After a few long and painful seconds in which the temperature of the room dropped at least twenty degrees, she ground out, "No, that later scene was not at all accurate. And I never considered that bloodthirsty madman Jet my boyfriend! That play is riddled with flaws and errors, as any member of the Avatar's group will tell you. You have, perhaps, heard that Lady Toph Bei Fong is in fact _female_? I mentioned the play only to illustrate the sheer short-sighted _idiocy_ of making false charges of damages done by the Fire Nation, when _witnesses_ to the flood are present in the room! If my brother Sokka were here, he'd tell you what he told me and Aang later that day; how the Fire Nation soldiers actually _saved lives_ with their swift and orderly evacuation of the villagers! Tell me, sir, are you _disappointed_ that no peasants died that day, preventing you from adding charges of massacre to your list?"

Shown in front of everybody to be short-sighted and idiotic, and now facing the implied accusation that he actually cared nothing for the lives of those villagers, and was only after more money… Yep, that bureaucrat had just made himself a bad enemy. More than one, judging by the way Hakoda and Pakku were glaring at him; he was probably starting to regret attending the summit at all. But Zuko was actually a little grateful for the man's greed and stupidity, because when the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe delegates were at odds with each other, it took a little of the pressure off of him and his nation. He was determined to make reparations and restore the Fire Nation's standing in a world of peace instead of war, but so far it had proven even more difficult than he'd thought it would.

But that's what this peace summit was all about, and it was time for him earn some statesman points. "Then if the issue of Gaipan is resolved, let no more be said of it," he said magnanimously. "Instead, let us move on to other issues…"

Katara almost-but-not-quite pouted at him, for verbally stepping between her and her prey. The bureaucrat gave him a sullen look, unwilling to be grateful to his enemy for saving him from her wrath.

Just after the issue of Taku was brought up, Bumi abruptly declared a short recess to the meeting, even though they'd been talking for barely an hour so far. Servants immediately started bringing trays of refreshments in, and setting them on long tables to the side of the room. Surprised but grateful, Zuko got up and headed for the table with trays of sliced mangoes and other fruits.

Katara headed towards the food as well, and he changed course to meet up with her along the way. "Where's Sokka?" he asked her with some concern. The Water Tribe warrior had been at the informal dinner with them yesterday, but today he was notably absent from the table that the Water Tribe delegates were sitting at. "Is he sick?"

He hoped it was just a temporary illness (probably caused by eating too much), and not some family dispute that had resulted in Hakoda ordering his son to leave and not come back. Zuko liked and respected Hakoda, and he _knew_ now that most families weren't nearly as dysfunctional as his had been, but sometimes he couldn't help worrying.

"He's fine; he's just with Toph at her new metalbending academy," Katara reassured him. "It's about three hours' flight from here, and Aang took him there after dinner last night. Toph will come up here with him in two weeks, when the summit's over."

She won't be here for the summit after all?" Zuko asked, disappointed. He'd been wistfully wishing that she'd show up too, making her usual dramatic stomping entrance into the summit, and claim a seat for herself. It wasn't just that he highly valued her ability to sort truth from lies; Team Avatar hadn't had a full reunion since their last get-together in the Jasmine Dragon, right after the war.

Katara shook her head. "Not while the delegate from Gaoling is here," as she turned her head to indicate with her chin a middle-aged man dressed in expensive silks. "That's Lao Bei Fong; Toph's _father_."

"_Oh_." Zuko winced, remembering the letter from Katara that had described Toph's reunion with her parents. To say it 'had not gone well' would be like saying his last _Agni Kai_ had not gone well. By Katara's report, no one had been seriously injured, but the quakes had been felt all throughout Gaoling.

"Yeah," Katara agreed wryly. "Toph was all ready to come up here anyway for another confrontation, but Aang and I talked her out of it because their feud would probably end up disrupting this summit, after everything we did to help organize it."

They reached the food tables as she finished, and ran into Chang, one of Bumi's cabinet ministers. Chang cleared his throat as he was handed a bowlful of sliced fruit by a server, and said, "Esteemed Firelord… If King Bumi has displeased you with his announcement…"

"What, for the short recess?" as Zuko gestured at the food. "I wasn't expecting one to be declared so early, but I'm hardly displeased." Maybe Bumi had called for it because he'd skipped breakfast that morning; Zuko had only managed to wolf down a few bites of his own breakfast, busy with his preparations for the first summit meeting.

"Er, no, I meant… the task that he set the Avatar. To spend time attempting to please your, ah, companion, the Lady Mai."

Zuko blinked at him a few times… and then he started sniggering. Katara asked curiously, "What's funny?"

"Oh, you'll love this," he snickered, still trying not to laugh out loud. "Minister Chang seems to be worried that Aang will end up stealing Mai away from me."

Katara stared in shock for a split-second before she burst out laughing. "Not likely! Wow, that idea's almost as crazy as Bumi! …Uh, no offense," as she blushed, realizing one of Bumi's own people was present.

Minister Chang politely said that no offense was taken… and he might have actually meant it, given Chang had seen plenty of Bumi's frequent antics over the years. But still, Zuko stepped in to extricate Katara from further embarrassment and hand her a dish of mangoes, which he knew she liked.

Heading back to his seat a few minutes later, Zuko was still marveling that anyone would come up with the idea of Aang seducing Mai away from his side. In the first place, Mai was just a few months younger than Zuko while Aang was only thirteen years old; he was far too young for her to be interested in him as a boyfriend. In the second place, Aang had been raised by _monks_; Zuko wasn't sure Aang even knew where babies came from, let alone the finer points of seducing nobly-born ladies of the Fire Nation. And finally, as near as Zuko could tell, they had absolutely nothing in common.

It wasn't just that Aang was always smiling and laughing, while Mai didn't laugh at all and hardly ever smiled. Mai liked to play with daggers and other lethally sharp throwing weapons, and was always ready to show her uncanny accuracy to any opponent, while Aang preferred a staff when he had to fight at all. Frankly, Aang would rather dodge and run than fight in just about any conflict! Also, he was concerned about every living thing, even had a monkish vow to not eat meat. He was just about the opposite of Mai, who enjoyed a good steak almost as much as fire flakes and who had once admitted out loud that she hardly cared about anything or anyone but Zuko.

Zuko shook his head again and snorted at the thought of Aang seducing Mai away from him. Really, how crazy was that?

_To be continued_


	2. Maybe Not So Boring

**Chapter 2: Maybe Not So Boring**

Mai sighed heavily, standing out on the balcony and looking out over Omashu while trying to tune out Lady Dang's droning voice. Dang was sitting on the lounge inside the room, doing embroidery, and talking again about how advantageous her marriage to Zuko would be for her parents. As if Mai really cared about helping the social standing of the people who just never understood her the way Zuko did, who thought her main job in life was to look pretty and sit still in public, like a fancy doll on a shelf. Oh, the joys of being a nobleman's daughter…

She'd never say so to Zuko, because she knew he would take it the wrong way, but sometimes Mai actually missed having Azula around. She didn't miss the casual cruelties or that expectation of instant compliance to whatever the princess wanted, but at least Azula always had _something_ dangerous or exciting going on for Mai to get involved in, whether it was hunting the Avatar or fighting Kyoshi Warriors or overthrowing Ba Sing Se from within. In fact, if it weren't for that visit to her family home over a decade ago, when the little princess had sweetly informed Mai's parents that she'd picked Mai for a companion precisely because of her growing skill with projectile weapons, her parents would probably have continued punishing Mai for her knife-throwing hobby, instead of buying her more blades and sheaths for wearing them under her clothes. Mai really owed a lot to Azula…

And she really needed to think of something else, before she started thinking about going to visit Azula in the insane asylum again when she got back home. She'd gone there just once, and it had been so wrenching—seeing the slovenly, uncontrollable madwoman Azula had become, hearing the princess's screeching curses at her betrayal and oaths to give her a protracted and painful death—that Mai had instantly decided to never do that again. There were some things actually worse than boredom.

_Oh spirits no_. Now Lady Dang was talking about the inevitability of her father becoming a member of the High Council, one of the Firelord's most trusted advisors. Which would mean Mai would be seeing her father _in the palace nearly every day for the rest of her life_. And her mother would surely find reasons to be there as well; she'd never escape them again… To _Koh's Lair_ with that idea! She'd have to privately tell Zuko that he absolutely should _never_ invite her father to become a council member, no matter what was expected of him once they were in-laws. Surely appointing Mai's father to the governorship of another remote outpost would be enough of an honor to satisfy the obligation?

"Hi, Mai!"

Mai had been so lost in thoughts of future gloom and doom that she hadn't actually noticed the Avatar approaching on his glider, until he greeted her while dropping to a neat landing beside her on the balcony. She was so startled that she came within milliseconds of throwing a brace of stilettos, and starting the Avatar Cycle all over again. She blurted out, "What are you doing here?"

She immediately regretted the outburst when Lady Dang pointedly cleared her throat in disapproval, before saying in that simpering tone Mai had grown to loathe, "Avatar, we are most honored by your presence… and perhaps somewhat perplexed, as well." The lady-in-waiting put her embroidery aside and walked mincingly out to the balcony to join them, adding, "Have the summit talks concluded for the day already? If so, when may we expect-ah-_ah_-_**ahhchooo**__!_"

Mai switched her surprised stare from the Avatar to her attendant, who began sneezing up a storm. What had set Lady Dang off like that? The Avatar had the same question, asking bluntly, "What's wrong with her?"

Mai figured it out when she heard the chittering, just before the Avatar's pet lemur poked his big-eared head out from behind the Avatar's bald and tattooed cranium. "Lady Dang is allergic to most furry creatures," Mai informed him. "Including your pet, apparently."

"Oh. I guess we should leave and go somewhere else, then," the Avatar shrugged. "How about to a restaurant? I'm kind-of hungry; Katara kept me so busy with stuff about the summit talks this morning that I really didn't have much for breakfast."

Mai blinked at him for a moment, trying to think of what was behind the offer, then said carefully, "I'm flattered by the invitation. I'm also confused; why aren't you at the summit meeting?"

The Avatar frowned, an expression that didn't sit well on his features. "Bumi asked me to leave, because I was defending Zuko too much. Zuko agreed with it, too; he said that as the Avatar and the Balance between the nations, I'm supposed to be fair and impartial to everybody, so I can't favor one nation over the others just because I'm friends with their new ruler." Then he gave her an earnest look that was probably meant to be reassuring, as he added, "It's okay, though; I left Katara in my place, and she'll speak up if they start getting too nasty towards Zuko. And I'm pretty sure her dad Hakoda will back her up; he likes Zuko too. So, do you have a favorite restaurant here? If not, I know this great place up by Bumi's castle! It-"

"Ava—ah, _ahhchoo_! (sniff) Avatar, please pardon my rudeness in interrupting," Lady Dang said tersely, wiping her already reddened nose while warily eyeing the lemur, "but would you please dispose of your pet before we leave to go anywhere? One of our guards would surely be happy to take him to your quarters."

The Avatar gave her a half-worried, half-annoyed frown. "Sorry, but I have to keep Momo with me at all times; Bumi insisted. But you don't have to come along; in fact, pardon _my_ rudeness, but I only invited Mai out, not both of you."

"That—_ahhchoo_! That would be highly inappropriate. I am the Lady Mai's attendant and chaperone! I must be present, in order to ensure propriety is respected at—_ahhchoo_!"

Mai rolled her eyes; that woman was so _stubborn_ in her insistence on propriety that she sometimes wondered if there were earthbenders in her ancestry. "Lady Dang, just _stay here_. That's an order, from the future Royal Consort."

"But-"

"You don't have anything to worry about regarding propriety. In the first place, the Avatar is too _young_ to try anything like what you're thinking of; just look at him! His voice hasn't even changed!" Mai said with a dismissive wave in his direction. The Avatar squawked in indignation, but Mai wasn't done yet and she rode right over his half-formed protests. "In the second place, he was _raised by monks_. You know, that whole 'we have no worldly concerns' attitude… You might as well say I'm not safe in the presence of the High Fire Sage!" The Avatar stopped squawking and looked thoughtful for a second. "And in the third place, he's the Avatar. Bender of all four elements, and the one who brought down the previous Firelord. If he wanted to make trouble, do you really think that just _your_ presence would stop him?"

"What 'trouble' are you talking about?" the Avatar asked indignantly. "I'm just talking about getting something to eat! How is that making trouble?"

"It isn't," Mai said with another roll of her eyes. "So come on, let's go before she sneezes herself into a bloody nose." And with that, she took the Avatar by the elbow and led him firmly across the room to the door, taking silent glee in the way her unwanted attendant was backpedaling to stay far away for once.

Once they were in the hallway, the Avatar said pointedly, "I'm not a child anymore, you know. My voice hasn't changed yet, yeah, but Zuko told me himself that doesn't happen to some guys until later; his voice changed during his banishment, when he was fourteen. And I'm going to turn fourteen in just a few more weeks!"

Mai just gave him a look of Very Unimpressed. "Are you really trying to argue that I need a chaperone to be around you after all? Or suggesting that I should compare your physique to Zuko's?" As she'd figured, that shut him up fast, with a slight flush of either anger or embarrassment on his cheeks. "If not, then just lead the way to that restaurant you mentioned." She'd had breakfast, but it had been so meager with its 'ladylike' portions that she was already hungry again.

00oo00oo00oo00oo00

Yup, this was going to be a challenge all right. How was he going to make Mai laugh out loud, when she already made him want to grit his teeth? Aang sort-of wished he hadn't taken up Bumi's challenge… But if he hadn't, he'd still be hanging around Omashu anyway, waiting to get Katara's reports on what happened in the summit meetings. And maybe it would make Zuko smile more, if he knew his girlfriend wasn't just sitting around being bored waiting for him; it'd be one less thing for Sifu Hotman to feel guilty about.

So they headed up towards the city center and the restaurant Aang had in mind for eating at, one that had a pretty good vegetarian menu. Along the way, he told Mai at least half a dozen jokes and riddles, but she just rolled her eyes at all of them. Even his very best joke about the village baker and the hog-monkey, the one that had once made his old friend Kuzon laugh so hard he'd almost peed his pants!

Finally they arrived at the restaurant, and he gave up on joke-telling in favor of just eating. The restaurant made really good vegetable tempura and yakisoba; Mai evidently thought so too, because she ate just as much as Aang did. After they finished, the restaurant owner made the usual speech about how it was such an honor to serve the Avatar that he wouldn't think of asking for payment—which was really good to hear this time, because Aang had forgotten until that moment that Katara still had all their money with her, and it would have been really embarrassing to have to ask Mai if she could pay for their food.

After they left the restaurant, he asked Mai, "So, what do you want to do today?"

"Not die of boredom," was all Mai said in a flat tone that suggested she was already halfway dead from it.

Aang frowned at the implied insult. Then he decided that _fine_, if she didn't want to do anything, then _he_ sure did! Something that he'd been wanting to do since they'd arrived late yesterday morning, but Katara had said there was too much work to do to prepare for the summit and besides, she'd done it once already and once in a lifetime was enough for her. "Okay then; we're going up there," as he pointed further up the city slope, at a mail chute station. "I do this every time I come to Omashu."

Mai just shrugged and went along with him, evidently deciding that she had nothing better to do so she might as well. Just to make conversation, he asked as they trudged up the stairs to the mail station, "Did you ever do this when your father was the governor here?"

"All the time," she said with another roll of her eyes. She sounded like it had been a _chore_ for her, instead of something really fun! Aang just didn't understand Mai at all. But he was determined to enjoy himself anyway, even if she didn't. This would be the first real, genuine fun he'd had in _months_; quelling the riots in the colonies and keeping the peace between the nations took up nearly every minute of his day, every day of every month! Almost every time he'd wanted to just relax and do something fun with Katara, like ride wild hog-monkeys or hopping llamas, she'd regretfully pointed out all the things he needed to do and the important people they needed to see. About the only fun thing she'd agree to make time for was making ice-sculptures or shapes with other elements during their bending practice every day. Which was fun, yeah, but it was also kind-of work, and sometimes he just wanted some _fun_.

They reached the mail station, and Aang cheerfully greeted the earthbender working there. He was in luck; this government worker was one he'd met before, when he'd come back to Omashu right after waking up in this century, so he already knew what Aang was there for and that the Avatar had official permission from King Bumi to do it whenever he visited. The earthbender just bowed to him and earthbent an empty delivery bin into the chute for him, with no questions asked.

Aang hopped into the bin, then courteously held his hand out for Mai to climb in too, but instead of climbing in behind him she was hanging back while giving him a weird look. She asked, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" he retorted. "I thought you said you'd done this lots of times before!"

"I dropped off official documents from my father's office and picked up mail for him, yes. But I never had to climb into the bins themselves to get anything!"

Aang grinned, as he remembered exactly what Bumi had said to him all those years ago. "Look around you, Mai; what do you see?"

She looked around, then right back at him with an ever-so-slightly irritated expression as she said, "Omashu's earthbending mail and package delivery system."

His tone was conspiratorial as he leaned towards her. "Instead of seeing what they want you to see, you have to open your brain to the possibilities. This, Mai," as he spread his hands to indicate not just the mail station but all of Omashu, "is the world's greatest super slide!"

And for the first time since he'd met her back during the war, Mai's face showed a real, unmistakable expression; her mouth fell open as she stared first at him, and then at the mail chute system again, in outright astonishment. After a second or two of silence she murmured half to herself, "Hardly proper behavior…"

He grinned even wider as he stage-whispered to her, "I won't tell your chaperone if you won't!"

And after another second or two, Mai showed _another_ expression: a growing and downright mischievous grin. "You're on," she said bluntly as she climbed into the bin behind him. And with just a little push of his earthbending, they were off and sliding down the chute, their bin picking up speed with every second. Hanging onto his clothes with tiny black hands, Momo chattered with excitement.

"_Woo-hooo_! Hey, stick your arms up like this, and it's even more fun!" Aang called back over his shoulder as he threw his hands up into the air, feeling the wind rushing past his palms. Since he was an airbender, that sensation always felt to him like an invitation to play, but Bumi had sworn it made the ride more fun even for non-airbenders.

He glimpsed over his shoulder to see Mai throwing her arms into the air—and the wind pushing her sleeves up to reveal the bracers of stilettos and throwing stars she kept strapped to her wrists and forearms. The sight made him a little uncomfortable, so he quickly faced forward and determinedly shouted again, "_Woo-hooo_!"

Yup, even now that he was a fully realized Avatar, this was still pretty fun! Aang cherished that thought and vowed to savor every second of this ride. They sailed down faster and faster, till they were going almost as fast as Appa in a full dive. Then they approached the first junction where two chutes came together, and Aang glanced to the other chute off to their left.

Oh, no… His stomach twisted as he realized that yup, there was another bin in that chute right across from them and yup, it was carrying a rack of spears just like that time last year and yup, it was going to hit the junction right after they did and see, this was _**proof**_ that Sokka wasn't the only one the universe liked to torment! He knew how protective Sifu Hotman was of his friends and loved ones; Zuko would totally skin him alive if he put the Firelord's future Royal Consort in danger!

But he reminded himself that now that he was a master earthbender as well as a master airbender; this would be easy to take care of, with no danger to Mai at all. He reached out with his earthbending to slow the other bin way down, so it wouldn't hit the junction until long after they did and stay far back from them until the end of the slide.

And then he could almost _hear_ Toph's voice in his head, with that familiar sarcastic bite as she told him, _You're an earthbender now, Twinkletoes, but you're a long way from being a master at it_. Because he hadn't properly adjusted his earthbending for the high speeds they were traveling at, and when he tried to slow the other bin down it just sort-of _crashed_ instead, and then there were huge chunks of stone bin and spears flying everywhere, including straight at them! "Duck!" he shouted as he couched low in the bin, reaching back to yank Mai down with him.

Spears and jagged shards of rock whistled over their heads, and after a couple seconds Aang figured that it was safe to sit up again Just in time to see that the biggest chunk of the exploded bin had landed right in the middle of the junction ahead, to damage the chute and block the slide! If they hit that blockage, going at this speed… Zuko was going to skin him _and_ boil him alive!

"_Hang on tight_!" Aang shouted as he gripped the sides of the bin and _heaved_ upwards with every scrap of earthbending energy he could muster at a moment's notice. Their bin sailed up out of the chute and over the blockage, just barely; Aang heard the awful scrape of stone on stone as the bottom of the bin slid across it. Then he dropped them back into the bin on the other side of the blockage, but not as smoothly as he'd hoped. The jarring impact as they scraped the side of the chute made him lose his grip, both with hands and earthbending, and then suddenly he was sprawled backwards in Mai's lap and looking upside-down at her face—

And she was _laughing_. Her mouth was open and her eyes were sparkling and he heard even over the crunches and rumbles of the stone chute her joyous "_Hahahahahaa_!" It was no ladylike tinkling giggle, but a loud, braying laugh that even an ox-donkey would admire.

He'd done it! He'd made her laugh out loud!

Then suddenly the bin they were in abruptly slowed to a shuddering stop at a mail station, and he heard an angry man's voice saying, "This is an official mail chute! Do you realize how much trouble you're in, interfering with the official governmental delivery system in Omashu? You'll be cooling your heels in jail for-" Aang hurriedly sat up from where he's still been lying with his head in Mai's lap, and the earthbending official at the mail station stopped cold when he saw Aang's airbending arrows and realized who he was dealing with. "A thousand pardons, Avatar!"

Mai almost bounced out of the bin onto the station deck, looking a lot like her friend Ty Lee for a moment as she grinned from ear to ear. "Let's do that again!"

"Um, sorry, we can't; I promised Bumi that I'd only do it once per visit," Aang said sheepishly. He guessed that sometimes the fun really did disrupt official business, like this time when they'd have to send somebody up there to fix the chutes.

Mai's grin vanished, and she looked so disappointed for a second… and then even the disappointment vanished, leaving just that expressionless mask in place. But suddenly it almost hurt him to see it there, after seeing her laughing and so alive and—"But I know something we can do that's even better!"

The words just sort-of jumped out of his mouth without thinking, but he couldn't take them back; she was giving him, through that bored mask of hers, a faintly hopeful look as she drawled, "Such as…?"

Come on, I'll show you!" And he led her through the city to the royal stables that Appa was staying in.

When they went into the stables, Mai hung way back at first, giving Appa a look of distaste. A look that Appa returned with interest, and a warning rumble; sky bison had long memories, and Appa probably remembered all the times Mai had thrown sharp pointy objects in his direction, back during the war. "C'mon, Appa, it's okay; she's a friend now! Really!" as Aang gave his best buddy a cajoling scratching behind one massive ear. "She's Zuko's girlfriend now, and you like Sifu Hotman, right?"

He gave Mai a few cabbages to feed Appa, to help persuade him that she could ride on his back. While they were getting better acquainted, he saddled the bison and got one of the stable hands to bring him twelve feet of rope. He coiled the rope up and tied one end to one side of the saddle, and then invited Mai to climb on up. She took his extended hand and let him help her up Appa's side into the saddle, but then looked at the coiled rope with a subtle frown of disapproval. "I know for a fact that you usually don't make your passengers were safety ropes."

"That's for later," Aang tossed over his shoulder as he bounded forward to his usual place between Appa's horns. As soon as he had the reins in hand he said with a grin, "Appa, yip-yip!"

Appa lowed his assent as he rose into the air, a nice gradual spiral upwards to a few hundred or so above the highest point in Omashu. Aang kept glancing back over his shoulder as they ascended, seeing how Mai was handling her first sky bison flight; she had a tight grip on the rim of the saddle for the first two hundred feet, but after that she relaxed and let go for a few minutes, only to grasp the side again as she leaned out over Appa to look at Omashu spreading out below them. "It is nice to see such a view without gondola glass in the way," she commented, while brushing a wind-tugged lock of hair back into place.

"Appa's _way_ better than an airship," Aang agreed as he floated back from the reins to the saddle. "He's faster and he can outmaneuver them any day of the week! And there are a few things Appa can do that no fancy balloon can, no matter what tricks the Mechanist thinks up. Time to tie up," as he passed the rope around Mai's waist, tying the stay-in-place knot that Monk Gyatso had taught him long ago, before tying the other end to the far side of the saddle. He answered her subtle frown with a cheery, "It's not because you're not an airbender; it's because you're in the saddle and you can't hang on the same way!"

Once she was tied so she couldn't fall out, he took off his shoes and stuffed them inside a carrysack, told both Mai and Momo to get _really_ good grips on the rim of the saddle, and then bounded back to Appa's head. He lay down spread-eagled with his legs wrapped partway around Appa's massive neck, digging his toes deep into the sky bison's wiry undercoat, and grabbing handfuls of Appa's fur to anchor his upper half. Then he shouted gleefully, "Appa, _yip-yaroo_! Yip-yaroo, buddy!"

Appa stiffened in surprise at first; it had been a really long time—over a hundred years!—since he'd called out that command. He'd asked Katara and Sokka if they'd like to try sky bison stunt-flying one time soon after waking up in this century, but Katara had looked a little sick just thinking about it, and Sokka had said _**no**_ so emphatically that he'd never brought it up again. It was a real shame, because a 'yip-yaroo' was the start of probably the most thrilling ride in the whole world! When he repeated the command, Appa gave a bellow of pure joy, and promptly flipped over on his side.

They did one-two-three barrel rolls in as many seconds before Appa leveled out again, snorting with exertion and excitement. Aang strained his ears to hear what was going on back in the saddle, and heard Mai's shriek of surprise turn into delighted laughter. Grinning while still hugging his buddy with all his might, Aang called out, "_Yip-yahee_!" Appa roared in response, before executing a perfect loop-the-loop!

After Appa leveled out again, Aang sat up and turned around to look back at Mai in the saddle as he asked, "So, whaddaya think?"

Momo was clinging to the saddle rim with all four limbs and even his tail, his ears flat against his head in distress. Mai's normally perfect hair looked like a rat-crow's nest, her fancy robes were all askew… and she was grinning from ear to ear, looking even happier and more excited than she'd looked after the mail chute ride. "Do it again!"

00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo00

They had hours of fun up in the sky, and it was late afternoon by the time they returned to the royal stables, almost time for dinner. As soon as they landed, Aang hopped off to get Appa an entire bushel of apples as a treat, and he came back just in time to see Mai petting the sky bison right on his huge nose while saying with utter sincerity, "Thank you for helping make this the best day I've ever had in my life!"

Appa rumbled happily in response, and his mouth opened—and Aang hurriedly tossed a few apples inside, to give him something else to do before he could actually lick Mai from head to toe. He didn't mind the occasional big lick, but given how much his other friends hated being coated in sky bison saliva, he didn't want to risk Mai's Best Day Ever ending on a bad note.

They'd both missed lunch while having fun with Appa, but neither had even noticed until they walked past a noodles stand on the way, and their stomachs rumbled like sky bison in response to the savory odors wafting from the stall. "My treat this time," Mai said simply, and bought them both bowls of noodles on the spot.

They slurped up the noodles with gusto, until Mai slurped a little too hard and one noodle flipped up to stick right on the end of her nose. She instantly froze, and her cheeks began to turn bright red in sheer embarrassment.

Aang had been about to point and laugh at her, like he would have if Toph had done it or any of the boys he'd grown up with, but he remembered how badly Katara took it the last time he'd laughed at her looking silly. (She'd stomped off in a huff, and even after he'd apologized she hadn't spoken to him for hours!) So instead he took a big slurp of his noodles, while wiggling his pinkies in a discreet airbending maneuver. The sudden airburst he'd whipped up whooshed right over the bowl of noodles, and flipped a ropy cluster of them up to slap onto _his_ nose, so far up that they probably came close to his forehead arrow. Then he grinned past the noodles at her, inviting her to laugh.

And she did; not a big laugh out loud like she'd been doing while up in the sky, but a quick giggle of amusement. She gave a little smile and her embarrassed blush faded, even as she discreetly wiped the noodle off her nose with a finger. Aang was about to do even more clowning around with his noodles, but saw over Mai's shoulder how the noodle stand's owner was frowning at them both; that guy sure wasn't amused. Rather than wait for that sourpuss say something mean and remind Mai that she was supposed to be embarrassed, he quickly downed the rest of his bowlful and she did the same.

As they walked back to the palace wing that most of the delegates were staying in, Aang said hopefully, "This summit is supposed to last another two weeks; do you want to come have fun with me again tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Mai said without any hesitation at all, as a smile started forming on her face again. But then she paused, and the smile faded as she added, "Assuming Zuko is okay with it. Sometimes he gets jealous if other guys even talk to me."

Aang frowned. "What, you think _he'd_ think I'm trying to steal you away from him or something? That's silly; he knows I already have Katara!" But when Mai didn't immediately look convinced, he said, "Tell you what, I'll go talk to him and let him know; he won't get jealous that way."

Aang hid a grin as he planned out exactly what he'd say to Sifu Hotman, just in case Mai was right and her boyfriend was the stupidly jealous type. He'd remind Zuko of the challenge Bumi gave him, to make Mai laugh, before letting him know that they were going out again tomorrow. He _wouldn't_ say anything about having already won the challenge; that Mai had laughed out loud plenty of times that day. If Zuko just assumed that Aang was still trying to win Bumi's challenge and that was the only reason they were going out again, well, that would be kind-of his fault for not asking about it, right?

_To be continued_…


	3. Not Bored Anymore

**Chapter 3: Not Bored Anymore**

Katara was just sitting down to dinner with Chief Arnook, Gran-Pakku and her father when Hakoda looked at her and said with concern, "Is everything all right, Katara? You're frowning…"

"Everything's fine, Dad," Katara said almost automatically. "I'm just wondering where Aang is, that's all. This is the second time he's missed dinner this week." With the long days she'd been putting in, representing the Avatar at the World Peace Summit, breakfast and dinnertime were the only times they had to be together.

Since King Bumi had asked five days ago for Aang to absent himself from the peace talks, and said that Katara could stand in his stead, Katara had faithfully reported to Aang all the issues that had come up and how the delegates had responded to them. She made sure he knew about every time she'd had to step in to defend Zuko and the Fire Nation from Earth Kingdom delegates more interested in taking vicious revenge on them than in restoring balance to the world.

For the next three days after the announcement, Bumi had started each session with a reminder to all the delegates present that Lady Katara spoke for the Avatar, not for the Southern Water Tribe. And she'd made what she thought was a really good speech that first day, soon after Aang had left; a speech about how no matter how much people wanted revenge, restoring the balance was more important, and any revenge that interfered with that goal was flat-out _wrong_.

She'd started by using Aang himself as an example; if anyone deserved revenge for wrongs done to their nation, surely there was no argument that Aang deserved it first and most, after all his people were massacred! Aang was the sole surviving Air Nomad, and Katara could testify how much he missed his people, but he sought no revenge for them. Instead he'd set all his pain aside, to work with the very great-grandson of the man who'd ordered their slaughter, to end the war and restore balance to the world.

Then she'd moved on to her own grievance against the Fire Nation; about the raid that had killed her mother in cold blood. And she'd told them all about how when Zuko had sought to join Team Avatar, she'd seen him as representative of the monsters who had killed her mother as well as the teen who had chased her and Aang all over the world, and _hated_ him… but she'd still worked alongside him to train the Avatar, because it had been the right thing to do and the best hope for restoring balance to the world.

Zuko had gone still during her speech, keeping his eyes downcast; the very image of a penitent man hoping to make amends for himself and his nation. Only at one point had he made a soft sound, like a stifled snort, while Katara had talked about working with him to train Aang. (But fortunately for them both, he'd done the smart thing and kept his mouth shut about all the times she'd served him only burnt scraps for dinner and generally treated him like slush, up until the day she'd finally forgiven him; that wouldn't have helped the peace talks at all.)

She'd thought it was a good speech, and her father, Gran-Pakku and King Bumi had all applauded her for it, but the other delegates hadn't been so impressed. As she'd reported to Aang each evening, she still had to step in on a frequent basis, when Earth Kingdom officials made demands of the Fire Nation that were clearly motivated by taking revenge instead of reparations.

She'd even told Aang, though hesitantly, about how she'd had to gently rebuke Chief Arnook when it had become evident he wanted revenge on the Fire Nation for the Siege of the North and Princess Yue's death/conversion into the Moon Spirit. Chief Arnook hadn't spoken to her for the rest of that day and part of the next, until her father had taken Arnook aside for a quiet talk.

Afterwards Arnook had come up to her with an apology, and admittance that he'd been too focused on his grief and pain to see that the Fire Nation had ultimately taken much greater losses, when the Avatar had merged with the Ocean Spirit to drown the entire invasion fleet. He'd admitted that since the Ocean Spirit had already exacted a great and terrible revenge, he had no business seeking more, and he would take his cue from her and Hakoda and focus more on doing what he could to restore balance to the world.

Katara had told Aang about Arnook's apology at dinner last night, but left out the reminder of all the thousands of people he'd killed while possessed by the Ocean Spirit. (The one time he'd had a reminder of that, seeing a memorial to the troops lost in that invasion while they'd been visiting a Fire Nation colony, he'd freaked out and flown off on his glider, and Katara hadn't seen him for the rest of the day.)

Tonight Katara had been looking forward to telling Aang about how the Earth Kingdom delegates were treating her with respect now, and considering Zuko's suggestions for how his country could make reparations (often with labor from demilitarized troops, who had no civilian jobs waiting for them back home) instead of rejecting them outright. But Aang still hadn't come back from that day's outing with Mai, so finally Katara had accepted her father's invitation to join him and Chief Arnook for dinner.

"Is he still busy trying to make some Fire Nation girl laugh out loud?" Arnook asked idly as he gestured for a bowlful of stewed sea prunes, which King Bumi had imported especially for the Water Tribe delegates.

"Lady Mai, Firelord Zuko's companion," Katara informed him. "And yes, he is. Every morning I ask him what he has planned for while we're meeting, and all he says is, 'Today I'm going to make Mai laugh out loud!' And every evening I ask him how it went, and all he says is, 'Tomorrow I'm going to make her laugh out loud, for sure!' "

Pakku said with a snort while accepting his sea prunes, "From what I've heard of her, he should try torturing kitten-owlets in front of her; that should do the trick."

"Gran-Pakku!" Katara said reprovingly.

"What?" he demanded with a raised eyebrow. "She's a former companion of Azula, isn't she? And I've heard far too many tales of the Mad Princess's casual cruelties, even to her own people."

"But Mai turned _against_ that princess, to save Zuko, my son and myself when we were escaping from the Boiling Rock," Hakoda very pointedly reminded Pakku.

"So she's not entirely heartless," Pakku said with a shrug. "I still don't see why the Avatar is wasting so much time on her."

"Aang has _endless_ optimism," Katara said with a sigh as she picked up her spoon. "If he can believe there's good in everyone, even that monster Ozai, then it's not surprising that he believes he can make anyone laugh if he just keeps at it, even Zuko's girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? It's not an arranged betrothal, then?" Arnook asked with mild surprise. "I was under the impression that the Fire Nation nobility practice that too."

Katara was about to respond in the negative, then paused, thought about it and finally admitted, "I don't think it's arranged, but I've honestly never asked. But even if it is arranged, they really like each other, or at least Zuko does; he smiles at her when they hold hands, and once I even saw them hugging."

"I've only seen her twice, and the first time, we weren't properly introduced," Hakoda said wryly. "The second time was at Zuko's coronation. Katara, you surely know them both better than I do, so perhaps you can tell me; what does he see in her?"

"Um… I really don't know, Dad," Katara admitted. She knew Mai was considered beautiful by Fire Nation standards, though it was a cold beauty that she thought most men would get bored with soon enough. And considering how Mai acted so bored with everything, all the time… But maybe Mai was different in private than she was in public.

But talking about Zuko's feelings for Mai felt uncomfortably like gossiping, so she changed the subject to other matters, like the rebuilding of the Southern Water Tribe. They had a long ways to go before the village was as grand as the Northern Water Tribe's main city, but Pakku's waterbenders had greatly improved the main port for trading vessels and had either raised or greatly improved all their buildings.

00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo00

In another wing of the palace, Zuko frowned as he sat down to dinner, glancing at the empty seat beside him. Most of the week he'd eaten a quick dinner at his desk, surrounded by stacks of paperwork, but tonight he'd made a point of leaving his temporary office to have a civilized dinner with his girlfriend… only his girlfriend wasn't there. Her attendant, Lady Dang, had regretfully informed his servants that Lady Mai had yet to return from that day's outing with the Avatar.

Zuko knew he didn't have any real right to be irritated with Aang and Mai; after all, Mai had been forced to eat dinner with just her attendant for company for most of the week, while Zuko tried to simultaneously deal with the international issues raised in the Peace Summit and run their nation long-distance via messenger hawks. (If only he had people back home he could really _trust_ to run the country in his stead! He'd finally appointed two different councilmen as co-regents, two men who cordially hated each other, counting on them to watch each other like rival dragons over a hippo-cow carcass; if nothing else, each would prevent the other from trying to seize power in his absence.) But he was still irritated; it was hard enough to set aside any time to relax at all, let alone spend time with the girl he loved.

He idly wondered, as he started on his egg flower soup, whether Mai and Aang were just as irritated as he was right now. Aang had been pulling Agni-knew-what crazy antics over the last five days, trying to make Mai laugh out loud, when Zuko counted himself successful if he could just get her to _smile._ Jokes, pranks and general silliness usually had Mai rolling her eyes at the jokester and asking pointedly if he'd let her know when he was finished being an idiot. Aang could be surprisingly patient at times, but after so many days without success…

00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo00

"Almost there… Just a little bit more… Ready? …Go!" Aang's soft whisper turned into a shout as he leaped out of their hiding place, Mai right beside him, to pounce on the herd moving down the trail. Bleating in panic at what they thought was a predator attack, the hopping llamas began living up to their name, bouncing everywhere as they tried to escape.

It was really tricky to grab and climb aboard a hopping llama, but more than worth it for the thrill of such a crazy ride! Aang hung on to one llama's thick neck for all he was worth as it bounced like mad, trying to buck him off, and caught a glimpse of Mai doing the same with another llama, and laughing like a hyena-seal.

When the llamas crossed a stream in their panicked flight, he hollered, "Into the water, Mai!" just before he jumped off with a tremendous splash, so he wouldn't drown the poor thing with so much extra weight on its back.

When Mai staggered out of the creek after him, wringing water out of her clothes, he bent a stiff breeze to dry them both off. But the jouncing ride, the water and the blow-drying left her hair a completely tangled mess, so she called for a halt before going back to Appa to get her hair fixed again.

While he was waiting for her to finish combing her hair, Momo came gliding up from where he'd been waiting with Appa, chattering in greeting. But just before landing on his shoulder, the lemur's ears perked up and he turned sharply to the left, his attention captured by something else. A second later, Aang heard it too; a piteous mewling coming from somewhere nearby, a little animal crying for help.

He and Momo investigated, and after rounding a nearby boulder they found a tragic sight: the carcasses of a bearded cat and a rat-viper tangled together in death. The rat-viper's fangs were sunk into the bearded cat's flank, but the cat's fangs had bitten into and broken its spine. Most animals stayed far away from rat-vipers; the bearded cat must have fought it as a last resort… Probably to protect the tiny red-furred kitten mewling while nudging the bearded cat's shoulder, calling pathetically for its mother; a call that she would never answer again.

"Awww…" Aang half-whispered. The kitten heard them, gave a tiny hiss of fright and started to scurry off into the underbrush, but he airbent a tiny but powerful dust-devil wind to cut it off and send it tumbling back towards them. Then he untucked the front of his tunic, grabbed it while it was still disoriented and scooped it up to bundle into the loose folds of fabric so it couldn't claw him.

"It's okay, little guy, I won't hurt you," he murmured to the kitten as it mewed in fright while he was wrapping it up. "Poor little fella… uh, little gal," he corrected himself after a quick peek under the tail. "I bet Katara will like you!" And the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was a really good idea. Katara didn't have a pet of her own, and taking care of the kitten would give her someone new to make a fuss over.

Perched on his shoulder, Momo chattered urgently and tugged on his collar; the lemur wasn't happy about something. Aang gave his pet a mildly annoyed look. "Yes, Momo, I remember how well you got along with the last bearded cat we met, but this one's just a baby! She's not going to hurt you, and Bumi told me once that if you start raising them young, they make really good pets. She'll get along just fine with you when she's older."

They went back to the clearing that Mai was in, just as she finished combing out her hair and stood up, cocking her head at them in curiosity. "What have you got there? It's noisy, whatever it is."

"A bearded cat's kitten," Aang said, carefully showing her; the red-furred head poking out of the bundle of fabric didn't have the distinctive beard-looking tuft of fur on its chin yet, but it would grow in eventually. "She's all alone; the mother died fighting a rat-viper. I'm going to give her to Katara to raise for a pet! We should head back soon, though; I think she's hungry, and all there's nothing left in the food-sack we brought today."

Mai peered closely at the wailing kitten, commenting, "It probably wouldn't have wanted rice-balls, anyway; those are tiny fangs in its mouth. Do you think it's weaned yet, able to eat meat?"

"Um. I think so?"

"All right. Wait here; I saw something scurry past while you were gone," as Mai got up from the rock she'd been sitting on and headed purposefully off into the undergrowth. Aang and Momo traded uneasy looks, but waited there with the kitten… and barely a minute later they heard a soft _shthuk_ and a high-pitched squeak abruptly cut off. Momo's ears lay flat as he let out a frightened _eep_, and Aang grimaced. Moments later Mai came back into the clearing with one of her many blades in her hand, and a tiny meadow-vole's carcass impaled on the tip.

"You didn't have to go kill anything!" Aang complained as she drew near.

Mai gave him a mildly disgusted look as she sat back down on the rock with her bloody trophy, dropping it in her lap as she wiped the blade clean on a sleeve before sheathing it. "You said she's hungry; do you want the little beast wailing all the way back to Omashu? Just give it here, if you're so worried about bloodstains on your pants."

Aang handed over the kitten with a look of resentment, and drew back as Mai carefully held the kitten down in her lap right next to the dead meadow-vole. The kitten got the idea right away and grabbed for the tiny carcass, sinking her itty-bitty claws into the kill to drag it closer to her jaws. Aang shuddered and looked away, protesting, "It's not about bloodstains! I'm a monk, and we hold all life as sacred! We don't even eat meat!"

"Except eggs," Mai said absently, as she watched the kitten tear into and eat the dead meadow-vole, frowning in distaste at the sight but not recoiling from it.

"Eggs aren't meat!" Aang snapped almost automatically. If they were, the monks wouldn't have made egg custard tarts or egg-flower soup for all the kids in the temples to eat while he was growing up! Monk Gyatso wouldn't have said it was okay for him to eat all those egg-based dishes Bumi's and Kuzon's parents had made for them, when they were visiting while traveling the world together.

That made Mai stare at him in surprise. "You're kidding, right?" When Aang didn't say that he was, Mai's look changed to one of disdain. "And people say _Zuko_ doesn't think things through…"

"Hey!"

The look Mai was giving him now was almost scornful. "Aang, birds and lizards are both made of meat. Eggs come from birds and lizards, and in turn, new lizards and birds come from those eggs. So how can they _not_ be meat? Eggs are just meat that hasn't developed enough to be chewy yet."

Aang abruptly felt so dizzy that he had to sit down right then and there. He just sat there and stared at the ground, while Momo chirped worriedly on his shoulder. He thought about all the egg-based dishes he'd eaten in his lifetime… and all the little pig-chickens or other animals that could have come from those eggs if they'd been _hatched_ instead of _eaten_.

After a while he whispered, "The… the monks never said…"

"And point out their own hypocrisy?" Mai asked bluntly. "Of course they didn't."

"Katara… Katara never said!" Aang realized he was starting to shout, but at that moment he didn't care. "We've been traveling together for _a year and a half_ now, and she makes Sokka put any animals he's hunted in a sack so I won't see them, and she always makes dishes without meat for my dinners, but she's _gathered eggs from nests for me_ and _**she never said!**_" Though there'd been a few times when it seemed like she was about to say something while he was eating, but always bit her lip and said she wasn't thinking of anything in particular whenever he asked…

He looked up from the ground while he was ranting, to see Mai looking back at him with what seemed like sympathy in her eyes. She said almost gently, "She probably wanted to protect you; mothers always want to protect their children from the worst."

That got him rocketing to his feet, his fists clenched as he shouted, "_**I'm not a child**_!" He might have still technically been a child when he'd first emerged from the iceberg into a war-torn world at twelve years old, but he'd experienced so much in that last year of the war, it felt more like he'd lived three years in that time! And now he was very nearly fourteen years old; definitely not a child anymore! He added emphatically, "And Katara is _**not**_ my mother!"

Most people drew back in a hurry when the Avatar started shouting, but Mai just gave him another look of _Not Impressed_, completely unafraid; probably because she was used to dealing with Zuko and Azula. "Biologically, obviously not. But she sure acts like your mother, and don't try to deny it; you've come around the palace too often and both Zuko and I have seen it happen. Oh, she tries to be discreet about it when strangers are around, but just last week at the dinner with King Bumi, right before the food fight started I overheard her hissing at you to 'sit up straight' and 'chew with your mouth closed'."

He couldn't deny that had happened, just as she said… and just like Toph had said once, back during the war. Katara tried to be motherly with just about everybody except Mai and Zuko, but she was the most motherly around him. And like a mother or a guardian would, she'd tried to protect him from his own people's hypocrisy… All the anger went out of him with a whoosh of breath as he slumped, suddenly depressed beyond words.

A long and uncomfortable silence stretched between them before Mai said suddenly, "I'm not going to apologize for speaking the truth. But I could have been… nicer about it, maybe. I don't normally do 'nice'; I leave that to Ty Lee."

"Katara's nice to people, most of the time," Aang found himself mumbling. And as for Aang himself… He still remembered that time Sokka told him quite seriously that he was _too nice_.

"Yeah. But nice people have a tendency to keep things from you, tell white lies or just continually change the subject whenever you ask, because they're sure you would get upset to hear the truth." Mai's lips twitched in a bitter almost-smile. "A lot like politicians, really, but politicians' lies are usually more for their own benefit than yours."

"_Jin Wei? Wei Jin? I know those guys! I mean, I really knew them! I may not look it, but I'm 112 years old. I was there a hundred years ago on the day you're talking about..."_

That hadn't been a 'little white lie', that had been a _whale-sized white whopper_. But he'd had a good reason for making that up; he'd been trying to bring an end to the feud between the Zhang and Gan Jin villagers! And it had worked, too!

But that hadn't been the only time he'd told a 'white lie', or just changed the subject instead of telling the truth. And sometimes it was because he hadn't wanted people to be upset with _him_, for something he'd done-or hadn't done. _"It went great with the Guru. I completely mastered the Avatar State!" _That lie had sure come back to haunt him later…

Sokka was right; he really was _too_ nice, and in a way that wasn't at all good.

00oo00oo00oo00oo00

Mai suppressed a sigh as she looked at Aang, now leaning slumped against a tree and just staring at the dirt again. Just great… She'd ruined what could have been a genuine and possibly even great friendship, due to her habitual refusal to be the perfectly nice 'diplomat's wife' that her parents wanted her to be.

They'd been having a _wonderful_ outing today, starting with some more aerobatics on the way to the valley with the herd of wild hog-monkeys. This time Aang had let her hang onto Appa's head-fur and call out the directions for barrel rolls, loop-the-loops and steep dives with flipping turns, even if he'd still insisted on a safety rope in case she lost her grip.

Then they'd found the valley that Aang had remembered from over a century ago, that still had a herd of hog-monkeys living in it. Riding those wild beasts had been such a thrill! She'd ended up with rips in both the left sleeve and right pant leg of her _áo dai_ from the fight they'd put up, and she knew Lady Dang would be _appalled_ when they got back and try to throw her outfit in the trash, but she was already planning to secretly keep it as a souvenir; something to treasure and reminisce over when she was stuck in the Fire Nation palace for the rest of her days.

Then on the way back they'd stopped in a wide meadow with a stream, so Appa could eat and drink his fill while they picnicked on rice balls and salad rolls. And while they'd been there, Aang had spotted the tracks of a hopping llama and declared that they were just as much fun to ride as hog-monkeys! So they'd followed the tracks for hours until they spotted the elusive herd, and then dashed around and ahead to find the perfect spot for sneaking close enough to catch a couple of them and get a ride…

Nearly every day she spent with Aang had turned into a new Best Day Ever, and she was sorry to see it all coming to an end so soon. But it was probably for the best; she already knew that Royal Consorts wouldn't be allowed to do any of the activities she'd just discovered she loved doing. Breaking off her friendship with Aang now would remove the greatest source of temptation in the future.

She turned her gaze from Aang to the kitten in her lap, which was still eating its fill of dead meadow-vole. But soon enough it stopped eating, yawned and relaxed under her carefully firm grip. "I think the kitten here is done eating; might as well go back now," she said dully as she brushed the bloody remains of the carcass off her lap. She pulled up a front panel of her _áo dai_ and tucked it all around the kitten, which gave only minimal protest at the handling; evidently it had decided that any creature who fed it couldn't be all that bad. She stood up with the bundled kitten in her hands as Aang slowly pushed himself upright, and they trudged silently back to where they'd left Appa.

Night had nearly fallen by the time they got back to Omashu. But just as they got close enough to distinguish individual buildings in the city, Aang said abruptly over his shoulder at her, "The more I think about it, Mai, the more I think _you_ should have the kitten instead of Katara. She already likes you, you can get fresh meat for her until she's big enough to hunt for herself, and you should have a pet to keep you company too!"

"What? I don't like animals!" Mai protested.

Aang twisted around to look pointedly first at the kitten purring in Mai's lap, then at Mai's hands—she'd been petting it, she realized with a blush, for at least the last fifteen minutes—and then at Mai's face as he said firmly, "Yes, you do."

"But… I've never had a pet before! I can't…"

"Why not?"

Because her parents had never let her have a pet; her father had allergies.

Because Azula had been cruel even as a child, and it had been dangerous for any small animals found in her vicinity.

Because Lady Dang was allergic to animals too.

After a long pause, Mai said slowly, "No good reason," as she found a small, sly smile tugging at her lips.

They ended up circling the city a few times on Appa, while they worked out a story explaining why Mai simply _had_ to adopt the kitten; something that Lady Dang wouldn't dare object to. After they'd worked out the details and were coming in for a landing at the royal stables, Aang said casually, "It's too bad that Sokka's not here; he's good at coming up with ideas and devices. But can you sew?"

"My mother made it plain that _sewing_ is for peasants and servants," Mai said dryly. "What she taught me was _embroidery_. Which is close to the same thing, but more decorative and less useful. Why do you ask?"

"Well, maybe you can, ah, 'embroider' a little carry-pouch for the kitten, something like a rabbaroo's pouch, to keep her with you until she's big enough to keep up on her own. It wouldn't be fair to either the kitten or Lady Dang if we left her with your attendant the next time we go out, and I'm pretty sure she's not tame enough yet to just be left with Appa either."

"The next time?" Mai blurted out in shock. "You mean, you still want me to go out and have fun with you?"

"Well, yeah! We're friends, aren't we?" as Aang gave her a truly puzzled look, as if bewildered that she might think otherwise.

The sheer shock of what Aang was saying must have knocked part of her brain unconscious; the part that controlled her mouth. Because even though she _knew_ that the smart and politic thing to do would be to simply smile and agree with him, Mai realized she was saying like an idiot, "But, today… I made you feel terrible."

"You told me the _truth_," Aang said somberly. "And it was about stuff that I should have figured out for myself, if I'd just thought about it at all. I'm still really bothered by it, yes, but blaming you for pointing out the truth would be about as unfair as blaming you for the rain when all you did was say it's raining. So… we're friends?" as he looked at her hopefully.

Mai felt an unaccustomed warmth spreading from her chest outwards, and she just knew she was grinning like a fool, but at that moment she didn't care as she agreed, "We're friends."

But for some reason that just made Aang stare wide-eyed at her, almost in shock. "Wow," he whispered.

"What?" as she lost her smile, feeling self-conscious under his stare.

"Uh, sorry, I just—I just figured out why Zuko's in love with you," Aang said, looking a little embarrassed. "Because just for a second there, when you smiled like that, you were _beautiful_!"

Then he apparently realized the implied insult in what he'd just said, because he hurried to reassure her, "Not that you're not pretty all the time! I mean, of course you're pretty all the time, but—and I'm not trying to make a pass at you, I'm just making an observation! I…aauuggh!" as Aang finally gave up and flopped back onto Appa's fur with a groan. "Just don't kill me, okay? And don't tell Zuko I said anything either, because he really will kill me! Or just laugh at me…"

"Truly a fate worse than death," Mai said with amusement. "Don't worry, I won't say anything to him. But we'd better get back to the palace, before Lady Dang tells Zuko how long we've been gone and he starts sending out search parties."

Aang agreed, and in short order they were walking back to the palace, leaving Appa with a bushel of cabbages and in the caring and capable hands of the stable master. "So, have you decided on a name for her?" Aang asked, indicating the kitten in Mai's hands.

Mai had never named a pet before in her life, but it didn't take long for her to think about it before deciding aloud, "I'll call her Neko."

"Just 'cat'?" Aang echoed, looking a little scandalized. "I'd expect that from Sokka, yeah, but why just Neko?"

Mai shrugged. "I've never raised a cat before, but I do know that no matter what you name them, they never come when you call. So what's the point?"

00oo00oo00oo00oo00

When they got back to the Fire Nation guests' wing of the palace, Aang just put on a serious expression and kept his mouth shut while Mai did all the talking with Lady Dang. She'd said earlier that after years of watching both her diplomat father and Princess Azula lie with perfectly straight faces, she was pretty sure she could tell the whopper they'd concocted better than he could and make it believable.

And she did, too; Aang could tell that Lady Dang really bought the story that Lady Mai had been called upon by the spirits of Oma and Shu themselves, speaking through Aang when he'd been in an Avatar trance earlier, to repent and atone for her family's part in briefly subjugating the city of Omashu during the last year of the war. And as a sign of her atonement, she was to take in, feed and care for a helpless Earth Kingdom creature.

"But… must it be a young bearded _cat_?" Lady Dang asked helplessly, her eyes red-rimmed and nose sniffling even though she was standing well across the room from them. "My allergies…"

Mai gave an indifferent shrug. "Well, the spirits' original suggestion was for me to adopt an Earth Kingdom orphan child. I'd pointed out to them that doing so might raise questions of succession after Zuko and I are married, since a man marrying a woman with children is generally assumed to adopt them as his heirs, but…"

"No, no, the kitten is fine!" Lady Dang squawked in alarm, waving her hands to ward off the very suggestion. "But… I do beg your pardon Lady Mai, but I must, with great regret, tender my resignation as your attendant. I will be unable to fulfill my duties if I'm incapacitated by your new companion whenever I get too close."

Mai was graciousness itself as she said, "Lady Dang, I completely understand. But let us not send word back to my parents just yet of your resignation; they would not understand why, and would not be inclined to give you the good references you surely deserve."

That was Aang's cue to speak up, trying hard to be as solemn and gracious to the defeated as Mai herself was. "I shall speak to King Bumi immediately but discreetly, and he shall see about finding you new living quarters nearby. So far as the rest of the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation will know, you will still be Lady Mai's faithful attendant and chaperone, until your airship returns to the Fire Nation."

As it turned out, he didn't get to see Bumi that night; he tried, but his oldest friend was in conference with somebody else and had left strict orders to not be disturbed, unless the intruder had either a shirshu or a platypus-bear with them. Aang scratched his arrow for a second, wondering what was going on; he knew Jun the bounty hunter had a shirshu, but who would own a platypus-bear, and why would Bumi want to meet someone owning either? Then he set that aside for later and asked the majordomo if his staff could discreetly open and prepare another suite in the Fire Nation guests' wing, with no questions asked.

"Another guest suite has already been aired out and made up for the Lady Dang, for her to move into at her convenience," the majordomo said with a bow. Aang stared at him in surprise—he hadn't mentioned Lady Dang by name, hadn't even said it was a woman needing a new place to sleep! How had they known? But when he tried to ask, the majordomo either didn't understand the question or just deliberately sidestepped the answer, and Aang finally gave up and went back to let Lady Dang know that her new guest suite was ready.

Lady Dang thanked them both before bidding Lady Mai and the Avatar a good evening and backing out of the room, still blowing her nose. Mai and Aang waited until a good five seconds after the door closed, before exchanging gleeful high-fives.

_To be continued…_


End file.
